08.08.08
Posted in Journal, Status Report at 8:51 pm by shrinky
I will be providing a ticker in my progress reports to help track my weight loss. I’m continuing to do well, and am down a total of 21.2 lbs since my highest weight.
I have been doing pretty well in terms of eating right and exercising, which I am proud of because life has been a bit crazy lately. But I am learning that it really is just as easy to eat right and reasonably as it is to throw caution to the wind and stuff myself.
The other night I was feeling anxious and depressed. I was hungry and stressed out, and my first reflex was to order a pizza. Before I picked up the phone to order it, though, I thought about whether it was really easier than just making something I had on hand…and I realized that it really wasn’t. I thought about what I had in my freezer and cabinets, and there was plenty of “comfort food” type stuff…Annie’s Macaroni & Cheese, mini pizzas from Trader Joe’s, Vegetable egg rolls from Trader Joe’s, English muffins, eggs, whole wheat pasta, frozen turkey meat balls…I could have almost anything I wanted, even pizza. So, I chose to heat up 2 mini pizzas (6 points each), and have some Steamfresh veggies. The entire process took 15 minutes, only 1 of which involved any actual activity on my part.
I think a lot of the things I am drawn to order or get to eat when I am stressed out really aren’t much more convenient than finding something in my own kitchen to eat. It’s just the force of habit that brings me to consider it. I do a really good job of keeping my freezer and cabinets stocked with things for quick, easy meals, and things that I can eat when I am craving things I often crave (hence the mini pizzas and vegetable egg rolls).
I think it will be a long time before I stop trying to pamper myself with “comfort” food when I am feeling stressed out or sad, but in the meantime, at least I can choose comfort food that won’t throw me off track, right? I haven’t met a craving that didn’t have a healthy solution.
Permalink
08.01.08
Posted in Journal, Status Report at 8:20 pm by shrinky
It’s time for a weekly progress report!
- I lost 2 more lbs this week!
- I’m doing great with eating lots of fruits & veg.
- I am on track with my exercise goal for the week.
- I’m feeling fantastic!
I am really enjoying WW these days. I only had a couple of struggles during particularly stressful days. Yesterday, I was particularly upset about something, and wound up mini-binging on 3 energy bars and a chocolate covered banana before I hit the brakes and realized “WTF, I am eating things I don’t even really like and that I don’t even really want because of something totally unrelated!” As a result, I put the junk food down, did a good workout, felt a LOT better afterwards, made myself a healthy dinner (wiping out the rest of my WPAs for the week), and got a good night’s sleep. The workout, healthy dinner, and sleep were a lot more helpful to my mood than eating stupid shit just because it was in front of me.
Just saying.
Anyways, have an awesome weekend! Oooh, and since it’s the weekend, I might as well share – if you plan to get your drink on, Hungry Girl posted some cool, calorie-conscious cocktail recipes today! I can’t wait to try them out!
Permalink
07.27.08
Posted in Journal at 3:29 pm by shrinky
I’m feeling great these days — extremely optimistic. Usually when I start really focusing on weight loss after a lull, I have a very strong sense of foreboding … like, how dare I think I can be successful when I never have before?
I think there are three main differences “this time”:
First, I feel like I have already been successful to an extent. I lost ~20 lbs earlier this year. And when I say I went through a “lull”, unlike in previous lulls, I didn’t gain anything back (ok, 3 token pounds, but that is a drop in the bucket, and they came right off). In previous times, even a month-long lull would result in me shooting straight back to square one, if not gaining a few extra to tack on to my “highest ever weight”.
Second, I feel like I’ve been able to set myself up so that it is easier to stay on plan than it is not to.
- I can’t hide from WW meetings when they are directly around the corner from my cubicle at work.
- I can’t ignore my workout goal, because I get fined $5 a week if I don’t meet it (thanks to Stickk).
- My new work environment is also a lot more accommodating to a healthy lifestyle — no vending machines on my floor, everyone takes the stairs (and I work on the third floor), and there’s a nature trail with an entrance inside my office park.
- I’ve also learned so much about myself and WW that I have learned to work with my typical behavior instead of against it. So, I hate cooking sometimes…fine, I have a list of several dinners I can throw together with almost no effort. So, I crave junk food sometimes…fine, I have a list of several dinners I can throw together that are better than junk food.
Last, I think I have proper motivation. I’ve been sick and tired of my weight, my appearance and my lack of nice clothing options for a long time. But now that I have been diagnosed with sleep apnea, my knee is bothering me all the time, and I feel like I’m in no shape to start a family, I feel like a fire has been lit under my ass. I think these things, especially the first two, have really made it hit home that I cannot continue with my current lifestyle consequence-free. To an extent it’s negative motivation, but at the same time, it has made the seriousness of my situation a lot more real to me. Maybe it’s a blessing in disguise.
Permalink
07.25.08
Posted in Status Report at 8:47 am by shrinky
Just a quick update:
- I lost 2.8 lbs this week.
- I signed up for WW@Work which starts next Wed.
- I need to start taking hips/waist/etc measurements.
Permalink
07.20.08
Posted in Journal at 2:23 pm by shrinky
For the past couple of weeks, I have been unable to make up my mind about weight loss and how I feel towards it. One thing is for certain — I badly want to lose a lot of weight, and get into shape. But other than that, I’m having trouble figuring out how I feel and what I think about issues such as the following:
- How should I approach this? Is WW really the answer for me? Maybe I should try something more restrictive, like South Beach Phase I, for a little while first to see if I can get some more dramatic results. Or maybe I should try something less restrictive and more organic like No-S or intuitive eating with lots of journalling and focus on habits and paying attention to how full I am so that the changes I make are easier to live with?
- How should I approach exercise? Is my slow approach with my 30 minute walks a few times a week enough, or do I need to try and push myself harder? Should I join a gym, or just invest in more DVDs and stuff to use at home?
- Is this even physically possible? I mean, I’m over 100 lbs overweight. And while my eating and exercise habits are not excellent, what if I change those and still don’t lose what I need to? What if I finally lose 100 lbs and then gain it all back after I get pregnant or something? What if all the fat acceptance blogs and news articles that claim that permanent weight loss isn’t possible are actually right? What if this is pointless? Should I just start looking into lap band surgery?
- How did I even let this happen? While I guess there is some benefit in trying to figure out exactly why and how I managed to get over 100 lbs overweight, to see what needs to change, a lot of my wondering just winds up making me feel guilty and like a bad person. Not bad as in mean or evil, but bad in that there must be something intrinsically screwed up that I got this way, and not only that, but day in and day out, I fail to do what it takes to correct it. I know it’s not productive, and it’s not even fair, but I find these thoughts bubbling up periodically.
I’m sure there are other issues dancing around in my head, but these are the ones really getting to me right now. For the questions without an answer — how did I get this way, and what if it’s not possible to change — there really isn’t much to do other than really do my best, be brutally honest about whether I am doing what I say I am doing, and reevaluate if after that I am not losing, or struggling in any way.
I think another issue is just that I feel so darn ugly. I’m always going through the whole “I have nothing to wear” thing, and because it’s summer I always feel so sweaty and uncomfortable and gross, in addition to ugly. I see so many girls who are normal weight (or even only slightly overweight), who look comfortable wearing skirts and sundresses and summer clothes, and I just feel so jealous. So very jealous. I have skirts and the like, but I’m not even comfortable when I wear them. I don’t feel cute or attractive or comfortable. And I just so badly want that to change.
Permalink
07.13.08
Posted in Journal at 8:14 pm by shrinky
I actually started out with ~120 pounds to lose, but lost the first 20 before deciding to start this blog. In the past couple of months, my weight loss has slowed… “paused” might be a more accurate term… but I think a great way to kick off this new blog is to reiterate the things that worked for me to lose the first 20.
- Planning Ahead. At least during the work week, I plan my meals out the night before, and try to also pack my lunch and snacks to bring to work at the same time. This way, I know what I will be eating and that it fits into my Points (or calorie) target for the day. It takes ten minutes, maximum, and lets me forget about meal planning and Points-counting for the rest of the day. Occasionally I will stray from my plan, but I never view a plan as set in stone to begin with. I will sometimes swap out a snack for something else, or change my mind about dinner, but I find that it’s easier to make good decisions when I have a general idea of what to eat before I get hungry, and before I start rushing around getting ready for work.
- Having Accountability. I’m an active member of 2 health/weight related forums, and I find that having those virtual “buddies” to report to on a daily basis helps to keep me focused. I’m also trying a new form of accountability by having an exercise contract on Stickk.com.
- Regular Weigh-Ins. Some people claim that weighing themselves regularly is discouraging. I’ve really never felt that way. I am well aware that weight fluctuates wildly due to numerous factors, and so I never take any single weigh-in result too seriously. That’s why I like to weigh-in frequently … I feel that the trend of weights over time is more telling than a single point of data per week. I also find that the only times I do not care to weigh myself regularly are when I have something to hide. And that each time I hide from the scale, it gets harder and harder to get back on it and face the music. It’s just data, it’s just a number … for me, personally, I find that I don’t beat myself up over the number on the scale unless I’ve already been feeling bad about my daily behavior.
- Having a Clean Kitchen. I never want to cook or prepare healthy food when my kitchen is a mess. I find that when I am having trouble getting back on track, one of the best things to do is to get in there and clean out the kitchen. How can you expect to cut up fruits & veggies and make yourself decent meals if there are no clean dishes, or if just being in your kitchen makes you miserable? I find that when I am in the habit of cleaning up after myself, and making sure the sink stays clear of dirty dishes, that it’s easiest for me to feel good about making healthy meals.
- Having a Backup Plan. I think it’s best to eat fresh foods and to cook as close to “from scratch” as possible. However, sometimes, it’s just not realistic, especially for working people. I find that I am extra successful when I have a contingency plan for when I forget to pack my lunch, or when there is nothing to make for dinner. The world won’t end if you wind up eating a Lean Cuisine that you’ve stashed in the work freezer, or picked up Subway for dinner, and I think it’s good to figure out fast, convenient, emergency solutions that fit into my daily Points target than to blow off all my goals when something comes up.
I guess there is nothing really groundbreaking there, but I like to reiterate things like this to myself. It took time to get used to incorporating these things into my life, but I totally feel like it was worth it. None of these things suck a lot of time out of my day, and in the end, I think these habits will play a huge part in helping me to lose the 100 I have left.
Permalink